Okay, I've been able to admit it for a while, but now I'm finally asking. Help! Please, anyone. Example: last night I (stupidly) went to bed at midnight. My day then started shortly before 6:00 am. In between that time, Damon, who is 5 months old, woke up 4 times. And it wasn't just "get up and give him a pacifier," or "needs to just be rolled back over," woke up. It was "crying and won't calm down," woke up. FOUR TIMES. In about five hours. Now, babies have bad nights. I know that. And last night was unusually bad. But not entirely uncommon. It's been a long time since I've even had a stretch of about 5 or more hours of sleep.
SO...I'm calling on all the motherly experience out there. Help me out. What have you read that you swear by? Or what has worked for your baby (ies)? I can't take it anymore. I need sleep.
Here's what I've been doing. Help me figure out what I'm doing wrong. I'm willing to listen to any suggestions. It has been my goal from day one to get this baby to sleep through the night at an early age. I've tried to do everything right. I've been careful to try not to let him develop bad sleeping habits. He NEVER sleeps in our bed. I don't put him to sleep in my arms. I have insisted that he learn to put himself to sleep--which he can do most of the time. I put him in his bed, give him a pacifier, and he goes to sleep, for the most part. At night, I don't run in and pick him up when he cries. I pat his back or try to give him back his pacifier. When he would get too worked up, because said attempts failed entirely to calm him down, I would pick him up only until he calmed back down and then I put him back in his crib, still awake. If he cried, I would give him a few minutes of patting on the back before repeating the process. Lately, I've stopped picking him up. I just pull a chair over to the crib and pat his back until he cries long enough that he will take his pacifier and fall asleep. Then it is not uncommon for him to only sleep for an hour before doing it all again. I feed him once during the night, usually at 3:00 am or after. I only give him 2 ounces. I've been trying to eliminate nighttime feedings altogether because a baby his age does not need to eat during the night. At least they can be taught not to. And he isn't starving in the morning.
He has a set bedtime--7:00 or shortly thereafter. He set this time. Not me. I can't keep him up later. He won't let me. He usually always sleeps until around midnight. But really, he has no middle-of-the-night routine. It's always random. The only thing consistent is that he won't sleep for a long time. He's sleeping worse than a newborn. From what I can tell, I am not giving him any reason to wake up at night. I don't hold him, I don't feed him. I do give him a pacifier, but usually he won't take it, so that's not what he's waking up for.
Help me out. Short of giving in to the "easy fixes" that create bad sleeping habits, what would you do? (In all honesty, the easy fixes don't even work. I've given him extra bottles at times, and he still only sleeps for an hour or two. And he always cries even if we hold him, which is actually why I've stopped picking him up.)
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
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8 comments:
My friend swears by colic calm. Her baby used to get really tense and wake up screaming every night from about 9-3. She says it takes about a half hour to work, but after that she slept fine. You might give it a try. Other than that, I'm just as sleep deprived. Sorry. Maybe we should trade nap times :)
I'm sorry. Really. I don't think I could live through another Seamus. We started doing consistent nap times during the day and it helped. A little. I also stopped going in his room. He got to cry for two hours before I would get up with him. Which means no one gets any sleep. But after three nights of that, he stopped getting up. Kind of. Have you tried nightly baths? That's what put Cambria down for the long run. However, as a disclaimer, Seamus didn't sleep through the night until he was nine months old. Praying that your baby will be better!
I'm sorry that he's not sleeping well--it is so frustrating to have a baby waking up during the night for no good reason! You already know that I break the SIDS rules and put my babies to sleep on their stomach. In my opinion, they sleep so much better that way, but I think you're already trying that. There's a couple of things I would try. One is to move his bedtime back to right before you go to bed. I know he's been setting the time, but it might be worth playing with nap times--either moving an afternoon one later, or just waking him up after 20 minutes or so when he falls asleep at 7 so that you can put him to bed later and take advantage of the 5 hour stretch. I'm willing to give up my evenings for the first year to take care of a baby so that I can get some sleep and function a little better. It's hard to change nap times, but might be worth a try.
The only other idea I have for you isn't any easier. After sleeping through the night for a while, Kira started waking up every night. She didn't need to eat or anything and I knew she was capable of sleeping longer, but she was a persistent crier and not wanting her to wake up Callie (which she sometimes did), I would give in and go calm her down. Anyways, it became a bad habit and she got more and more sensitive to noise if I tried to leave the room. I was giving in way too much just to get SOME sleep until Chad finally told me I couldn't go in anymore. I knew he was right--I was just making it worse, but it was so hard to lay awake listening to her cry and feeling like a terrible mother. It took some awful nights of letting her cry it out (and Chad making me stick to it), but it worked. She started sleeping through the night again, and wasn't as sensitive to sound if someone else woke up during the night. It doesn't work for everyone, but if you're desparate, maybe it's worth a try.
I wish I had a better/easier answer to give you. Hopefully you find something that works soon so you can both get some sleep. Good luck!
My kids have been pretty good sleepers so I don't know that I have the authority to offer advice. But, both of them at some point would hit a stage where they were waking up a lot during the night. When I finally got sick of it I just let them "cry it out" and it helped a lot. Pretty much I left it up to them to figure out that they had to calm themselces down. Its torture for the mom, though, listening to her baby cry. And the baby. And anyone who can hear. So yeah, its hard. Also, check out the "Ferber Method." Just google it and I think there are books to. Its kinda the system we used at times. GOod luck. It is so hard being sleep deprived
That stinks!! There is nothing worse. I have to have my sleep. Kate was our horrible baby. She had some reflux problems so she never slept as a newborn, she was always spitting up. Once she was older she was fine but still woke up a lot. We finally had to have her cry it out. She cried for two hours and I thought...oh I'll go put her pacifier in and she'll be fine. Nope. She was mad I came in and then left again. She cried another hour and a half. It was HORRIBLE. Two nights later though, she was fine and has slept every since. She is a very sensitive girl, and I think she would wake up looking for me. She's pretty attached. I don't know....it's so hard. Crying it out has always seemed to work for us. GOOD LUCK!!
Terra
Ugh. That brings very familiar feelings I experienced with Jake. Around 5 months old, he started waking up numerous times...It continually got worse, and by the time he was 5 and a 1/2 months old, I was waking up EIGHT times a night. That did me in. The doctor told me NOT to set a time limit. She said, If you tell yourself I'll go in if he cries for more than 1/2 and hour or whatever, they will figure it out and cry till you come. Just let him cry and do not even go in the room. The first night Jake screamed bloody murder for 2 1/2 hours. I layed in the hallway, outside his door, crying too. It was so hard. The second night he cried for about and hour and 45 minutes during the night. The third night, he cried for about 45 minutes. Then he was done. Slept perfectly sound ever since. It is SO hard, but so worth it. I would also agree with trying your best to adjust the bedtime, maybe 8:30 or 9? GOOD LUCK!
Well i can't really give you great advice seeing as im a new mom and Jade is a great sleeper, but i agree with everyone else. Maybe try pushing his bedtime back a little. Let him take a quick nap. i know Jade gets real fussy and wont let me keep her awake, so she always takes like a 30 min nap at 630 or 730. But i don't usually get her to bed till 930, but then she usually for the most part sleeps till 9. Then maybe like Erica said you can go to sleep after putting him down and get a longer stretch. That sucks that your still having trouble. Plus he's been sick to so it may just take him some time to get readjusted. Even though Jade sleeps good, when she gets thrown off it can take a good week or so for her to get back into her routine! Sorry your having so much trouble!
Getting babies to sleep through the night is NO FUN! I'm a fan of the cry it out method. It will be hard to listen to but after a few nights I bet he'll give up and start sleeping for you! Good luck!
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